Anders - Wouldn't it be crazy if someone bought a giant screen TV just for a piece of cardboard.
Maddie putting makeup on me, “You look irrestiable. That means people really really like you.”
Me to Anders after Maddie put makeup on me, “How do i look?”
Anders - You don't look any different but you do look beautiful.
Eddie - I’m going pee and poop at the same time. That's kind of cool to me.
Me - It's the least we could do.
Anders - It's not exactly the least we could do. The least we could do would be to do nothing.
Anders - If a chicken laid an egg and a toad hatched it, would it still be a chicken.
Eddie - I'd like to go to Russia on my mission.
Miranda - I'd like to go to Hollywood.
Anders - Ya, that way maybe you could teach the gospel to Katy Perry.
Anders - When I say give it a punch. That means I want peanut butter on both sides of my sandwich. Give it a punch.
After asking the kids to help me clean up Anders says - This is really hard for me when I have a horrible case of the Mondays.
Going past a graveyard Maddie asks - Are the small gravestones babies.
Anders. It all depends on the family, if they're poor they have a small one. If they're rich it's a big one.
Anders - I hurt my leg and was kind of thinking I may need clutches.
Eddie - My teeth are like knives.
Maddie as soon as she wakes up says - Dad can we get a huge cardboard box?
Maddie and Eddie playing house. Eddie - go to sleep in your criddle. Pointing to the laundry basket.
Maddie - Does powder make your face so it has no dots on it?
Me - Ya.
Maddie - Want some on cause yours has a bunch.
Making spring rolls Anders asks - Where'd you get this recipe?
Me - My Vietnamese brothers and sisters.
Anders - I have GOT to thank them.
Me asking Anders how it was at his friends house - How was it?
Anders - It was great actually, there were so many laughs.
Eddie came in our room after being in bed for a little while and brings in two cars - Here dad, I don't need these right now. You can play with them.
Then he goes to leave and stops at the door, turns around and says - You still play with toys?
Eddie across the house - Mom, MOM!
Me - I'm right here.
Comes in the room. Oh, I thought I lost you.
Maddie - Can you wear something else today?
Me - Not this?
Maddie - No, something beautifuller.
Anders - Who's plan do you think is better? Romney or Obama?
Maddie - Eddie was exterbing me.
Eddie - Today my teacher gave me a birthday gift you wouldn't even believe.
Then a couple minutes later to the tune of “Call Me Maybe” - And all the other guys, don't have birrrth-day's. Cause it's my birthday, so call me maybe.
Anders on the phone to Nic as he’s coming into town - If you want to party then ask me. I am packed with party. I got funny jokes, good dance moves and I'm a good pranker. And if you want to get to the gross part, I can squirt root beer out of my nose.
Anders - I can't believe that China is going to take over India.
Me - Where did you hear that, Anders?
Anders - From Uncle Mike, if my memory serves me right...which I'm pretty sure it doesn't!
Maddie - She knew all of her states and she was this small. I wish we had her so she could turn us all into smartie pants.
Anders - I got so many things I'm going to be famous about. Street performing, video game designer, prankster, Irish dancer.
Maddie - I made up a game called baby picking your nose. What you do is get close to a baby and they might reach up your nose.
I walk into the bathroom to Eddie putting on deodorant and he looks up and says - My boobs were stinky.
